Sunday, June 28, 2015

An agnostic prayer of desperation

On a summer night, just like all the other days,
The rain falls and splashes.
Rolling down the windows – it dances, it plays
With light and colors and things seen outside
While nourishing and eroding and obscuring and distorting
It claims a life all its own,
Yet as I try to focus,
I hear its constant drone
Of tip tip tip tip tap tip tap tip
In a constant, steady, unforgiving drip.

Allegory for life – no constant rhythm or meter,
Yet despite the incessant noise
My focus does not peter
Out to an uncaring oblivion,
Instead I gather myself – to nature I refuse to give in!

And so I sit, in darkness deep despite the fluorescent light
Discovering that only within myself are there demons left to fight.
And so, with this machine, with these fingers, with this mind,
I struggle, perhaps vainly, for motivation to find.

It is Motivation I seek – indeed with a capital “M”
For it is something I am sorely lacking in
And something I need to prove to “them” –
The detractors, the doubters, the haters – the ones who cry “Just pack it in!”

Yet still, I will fight,
I will resist in my own way
For no other reason
If not just to see another day.